I’ve been expecting it for days. I’ve been grumpy, grouchy, bitchy, hungry, sleepy, weepy, achy…you know, ALL the dwarves of menstruation. This morning I felt amazing. Too amazing… I should have been more suspicious, really. How often do I feel THAT GOOD?
It was just a normal bathroom break, or so I thought. The moment I see that flash of red, I have an immediate physical reaction. Maybe it’s psychosomatic or maybe the pain is legitimate. I don’t really know. Honestly, I don’t think it matters. Pain is pain and I definitely felt pain.
Along with Aunt Flo dropping by in her usual unwelcome fashion, I felt just plain icky. Let’s make that another dwarf of menstruation: Icky! I laid in bed and wished for sleep, relief, or a quick painless death. Seeing as I’m writing this instead, I guess you can see I received none of the above!
No matter how hard I try, Aunt Flo just annoys me. Everyone I love gets the short end of the stick for a week…or a week and a half…sometimes more depending on how bad my pre-Aunt Flo experience is (PMS in case my mediphors and euphemisms aren’t landing clearly…after all, Aunt Flo brings brain fog in her carryon).
Hormones are an amazing aspect of the inner workings of the human body. They do amazing things. They tend to make me feel like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. They also turn me into the female version of the Hulk.
If you follow the Marvel Comics you’ll understand where I am coming from. While I say I feel like a female Hulk, I am no Jennifer Walters (the She-Hulk). Bruce Banner’s cousin retains her personality and is impervious to pain and disease, though strong emotion does makes her stronger.
Hormones don’t make me a superhero. It’s disappointing, I know. Whatever message they are transmitting through my body only succeed in making me grumpy once a month. My wonderful daughter uses seven year old speak, and says “Mommy’s grumpy”.
Sigh…Ugh….Yes, Mommy is a grumpy menstruator. I need to gather the eight dwarves that are hounding me and somehow make them more happy: chirpy, jolly, lively, merry, peppy, pretty, easy. If I can manage that, then maybe I do have superpowers.
“Feeling sorry for ourselves is the most useless waste of energy on the planet. It does absolutely no good. We can’t let our circumstances or what others do or don’t do control us. We can decide to be happy regardless.” ~ Joyce Meyer
Honestly, though, I am no different than any other woman, once a month. Aren’t we all just grumpy menstruators? My illnesses intensify the symptoms that are present for most women. I guess I have a right to just be grumpy! How I handle my mood changes is something that needs work. I guess I should strive to be less Mr. Hyde and more Jennifer Walters, the She-Hulk. What’s the word? Oh yes, control!
“All I can control is myself and just keep having a positive attitude.” ~ Rose Namajunas
My Aberrant Life 